Can
you "Just Say No?"
Of course you can.
Great!
Let’s have a little
demonstration?
We’ll take a little walk along
your talk.
Just
say no to dinner tonight.
OK,
lets make it simple for you.
Just say no that second helping at
dinner tonight.
We’ll just get rid of those 10
extra pounds.
Easy, ha!
Just say no.
And
by the way, just say no to those nasty
cigarettes.
That’s easy, too. No
sweat.
We can do that.
We’ve done it about 25 times
already in the past year alone.
And
speaking of sweat.
We’ll just say no to our easy
chair this evening and use our exercise
machine instead.
Remember the exercise machine?
The one that’s out in the garage?
The one you saw the sexy blond
using on television. The
one we bought on our credit card,
by telephone, while sitting in that easy chair. We’ll just say no to the easy chair, just for
tonight.
OK?
Do
I hear some balking?
Do I see some back peddling.
Come on, Just say no.
It’ easy as pie.
Speaking
of pie,
we will pass on desserts until we
actually lose that extra 10 pounds,
or is it 20 by now.
Come on!
Get with it. Just say no.
And
since we’ve just said no to our sugar
and nicotine addictions,
we may as well just say no to
drugs.
Of course alcohol, nicotine, and
caffeine aren’t real drugs.
Besides, they're our drugs and they
are legal.
But
any way, we’ll stop drinking.
What I mean to say is we’ll still
drink,
but we just say no to milkshakes
and drinks that contain alcohol.
That’s easy.
No sweat.
We can just say no to alcohol and
sugar.
We’ve done that too, about once a
month, for
the past, what,
20 years now?
And,
of course, we’ll just say no to driving,
if somehow we forget and slip off
the no-liquor wagon.
And
while we are at it,
we’ll just say no to peer
pressure.
That’s an easy one, since we
don’t bow to peer pressure now that we
are adults.
That’s kids stuff.
We’ll just dump that stuffy old
suit,
and tomorrow we’ll show up at the
office in blue jeans and a golf shirt.
No sweat!
Piece of cake.
We
don’t just go along with the crowd.
Not us.
We’re mature adults.
We don’t care what our neighbor
says.
We don’t care what kind of car
they drive.
And so, we’re just going to let
cousin Susie use our back yard for her
daughter’s nude wedding.
Stuffy?
Not us.
We’re not prudes.
Well
OK, forget the nude wedding in the back
yard.
We’ll just say no to sex in its
nasty entirety.
That’ probably the easiest thing
of all for us to do. We are
mature adults, you know.
Just
to show how easy it is,
we’ll give a little
demonstration.
We’ll lay off sex for six months,
to show you teenagers how to do it.
And, we won’t allow ourselves to think any nasty, lustful, wicked
thoughts for that same six month.
Not that we ever had those kind of
thoughts, any way,
but just for the sake of this
demonstration, we’ll just say no to sex.
No sweat.
No problem. Piece of cake!
Oh!
That damned cake again.
When
we get horny,
(excuse my French)
we’ll just read a book or take a
cold shower.
Sure!
Just like we did when we were
sixteen.
Remember
what we were like at sixteen.
We’ll just say no to the most
exciting thing in our lives.
We’ll just say no to the greatest
" feel good" we ever had in our
entire lives.
We’ll just say no to someone we
are madly in love with. You do
recall that Romeo and Juliet were only
fourteen.
We’ll just say no to our biological nature.
We'll
just say no to one of the strongest
compulsions in our lives.
We'll just say no to the world's most
powerful antidotes
to violence° and to
the world's most
powerful antidote to
anti-social
behavior.°
We’ll
just pass on 7 to 10 years of our sexual
maturity and remain virgins until our
wedding night.
Of course! We’ll just say no.
Yeah!
Then,
on our wedding night,
we’ll each magically transform
ourselves into sexual wizards and
thrill the daylights out of our new spouse
who insists on sex only once per week,
at night,
in missionary position, with the
lights out.
And after we lusted after
everything that walks for about 4 to 7 years,
we’ll just say no to divorce and
stick it out for the sake of the kids.
We’ll
be great role models for: “Life
sucks! And then you die.”
That will surely inspire the kids
to want to have a good life like we’ve
had,
huh?
We’ll
just say no. Remember
now, you're committed to no sex for
the next six months. Come
on! It's only six
months. What's the big deal?
You're asking your kids to abstain for at
least six years, so six months aught to be
a piece of cake for someone as smart as
you.
And
while you're at it,
why don't you go outside and feed that stray dog,
so it will go away.
Perhaps
it's time to
just say
"NO!"
to
"Just
Say No."
